Hello Goal #1 :)

Today was my official 9 week weigh in and I’m very happy to report that I’ve hit my first goal! I am officially down 30 lbs as of today! Just to give you an idea of what weight loss measures out to, here’s a fun way to look at those pounds:

Your weight loss =
1 pound = a Guinea Pig
1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs
16 pounds = a sperm whale’s brain
20 pounds = an automobile tire
23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super-premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephants heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephants penis
66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World’s Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year
117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she’s 5’11″)
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year
140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she’s 5’4½”)
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds
235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football lineman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony

My next goal is to lose 50 lbs and I’m planning on doing more before/after photos once I hit  that.                                           

wish me luck!

A Chihuahua

It's been about a week since my last update. I apologize for the laziness of my posts, I think I get to the point of "oh yeah, I got this" and quit being as diligent with documenting my food, journaling, and so on. And you would think
I'd know by now that I absolutely DO NOT have this!

Anyway, I completed my 6 week weigh-in on Saturday. The results for the week were 2 lbs down for the week and 26 lbs down overall. Not spectacular, but hey, it’s still a loss, right!? Then comes my trip to Gatlinburg for a family wedding.

Oh my.

Day #1 started off with a breakfast wrap (okay). Followed by a BLT (no mayo) and a couple bites of hash browns (eh). Then 7 (7!!!!!) hours passed before my next meal. This meal was catered in BBQ for the wedding reception. Let me just start by reminding you it had been SEVEN hours since I'd eaten. I was famisheddddd. What ensued from here I'm not proud of. Now, lest you think I went COMPLETELY nuts, it wasn't that bad. I mean, I wasn't found hours later passed out in an empty tray once filled with delicious BBQ. BUT, compared to how I have been doing- it wasn't pretty. Sunday wasn't too much better food-wise, but like any addict I thought, its okay just this once. I'll make it up by eating realllyyyy good next week. Mmmhmmm. Let me tell you how that went.

I immediately jumped on the scale when I got home. Ha! That couldn't possibly be right. So, I decided it must be higher from sitting in a car traveling all day (couldn't possibly be from all the food I ate all weekend!)I'll just sleep it off and weigh in tomorrow morning.

This morning arrives… I shower and make sure my hair is completely dry (wet hair probably weighs more than dry I suppose), position myself just so on the scale (it’s a pretty precise procedure you must follow!) and exhale all the air out of my lungs(in my head, air must add a couple of ounces at least!), close my eyes, say a prayer and look down.

Damn.

Surely you’d think 8 hours would have changed something. Nope. 4 lbs. FOUR POUNDS. I continued my weighing ritual at least 5 more times, something just had to be wrong. 

Nope.

Four pounds it is. The approximate weight of a chihuahua. In two days I had undone about 2 weeks worth of work. I guess the good part of all this is that I've realized that I DO have to be diligent, I can't just assume I've done so well I can slack off a little. Again, this blog is about honesty so as I share my successes, I must also share my failures.

At least tomorrow is a new day.

 

5 Week Update: With Pictures

It was 5 weeks ago yesterday that  I made the decision to change my lifestyle completely. My first steps: I cut sugar from diet altogether, I quit eating flour daily (now I’ll only allow myself a small portion of flour a couple of times a week), I cut salt wayyyy down (haven’t been able to get rid of that completely), and I quit drinking sweet tea and sodas- I’m now drinking only water and milk for the most part. In 5 weeks I’ve dropped 24 lbs and the way I feel has improved drastically. I know I still have a long way to go, but I decided to take a few pics to show myself, and you guys, the progress I’ve made so far.

I know pictures aren’t the best, they were only taken for my eyes, but I’ve decided to share them. (If you click on the picture, it should enlarge it for you) I can’t believe the difference 5 weeks has made, I’m excited about continuing and sharing my updates along the way.I’m so lucky to have such a great support team around me, I feel like I owe it to everyone who has shared nice words and encouragement along the way, to see these pictures.

A Moderate Life

Hello friends! My weekend in Atlanta was amazing. I visited my best friend and niece and nephew who I don’t get to see very often. We’re only around 5 hours away, but you know how it goes life tends to get in the way. It was so good catching up and just spending time together. We didn’t go out much, I made her promise me no mall trips since hopefully I wouldn’t be able to wear any new clothes I would have bought for long anyways! On a side note, this has ignited quite a shoe obsession in me! (My new Tom’s are super cute, and for every pair sold they donate a pair to a child in need, so how can you go wrong!?)

I did pretty well sticking with my eating plan while away- I did eat out most of the time that I was there, but I watched my portion sizes and paid close attention to what I was ordering. The only time I felt guilty was when we went to On the Border one evening and I had a little more than I needed. I didn’t completely blow it, but I knew it was more than I should have had. I weighed Monday after we got back and didn’t feel too bad, I had only gained about a pound and a half. And hey, this was a special occasion, right?

On the way to Atlanta, my  mom brought a devotional that I had actually purchased for her since she travels so much. One of the tracks talks about how in today’s world we have an abundance of choices. We have endless choices on what to eat, what to wear, what to drive, what house to buy, what color paint to use in the bathroom. But, have all these choices created a happier society? No.  Life is getting better, but people are more unhappy. We always want the newest, the latest, the prettiest, the best. There are always Jones’ to keep up with, and we run the rat race trying to do it. BUT- psychological studies have shown that getting that thing that we desired so much, whether it be the house down the road, the new car in the neighbor’s driveway or the diamond watch you’ve had your eye on DOES NOT equal happiness. We may think that the new outfit will bring us happiness, but once its ours, we are no more happy than before. These are psychological studies, not spiritual mind you. I just found this so interesting, and reflecting on my life, I really do live a life of indulgence. If I want it, I buy it/eat it/get it. And this lifestyle has not been healthy for me.  My goal is really to live a life of moderation. In all aspects, not just food. I don’t need the newest, latest, prettiest, best.  What I do need is to be truly thankful and happy for what I have and let that be enough.

My First Weekend Away

This weekend is going to be my first time away since I’ve started my eating plan. Needless to say, I’m nervous. I have the motivation and drive to stick to the plan, my fear is finding good, healthy food while eating out all weekend. A friend of mine posted a quote on Facebook tonight that said “remember that what you eat this weekend, you’ll be wearing next weekend”. This is my mantra! I WILL NOT gain weight and eat junk while away this weekend! Wish me luck!

I Have a Sponser

Tonight I believe I’ve made one of the most important steps since I’ve started this program of OA and adopting a new and healthier lifestyle. I called a lady from my OA group that I both respect and admire and asked her to be my sponser. We had just a brief talk tonight, but already I feel like it was a step in the right direction. It’s nice knowing there is someone there that’s been through all of what I’ve been through and is willing to hold my hand through the process. She gave me a couple of things to get started on, and I’m glad that I procrastinated on completing my Step 4 inventory because she said not to work the steps just yet, we’ll get to that later on- together. So see people, procrastination isn’t always a bad thing! 😉

 On a completely different subject- I have to tell you about my new obsession- Greek yogurt. Let me start by saying that I tried several different brands of Greek yogurt and found all of them equally disguisting. I really thought that it was suppose to smell (and taste) like it had gone bad a week ago.  I finally gave up on it and decided I would just continue to hate it for the rest of my life. That was until my friend Kelly bought me a container of Greek Gods yogurt (with honey). This stuff is AH-mazing! I love love luuuhh-vvee it! This morning I was running late to work and didn’t have time to mix a smoothie- so I mixed a little Greek yogurt with some Kashi granola ceral and voile- heaven in a bowl! Seriously, try it- it’s delicious. So, thank  you Kelly for my new love!

On A Lighter Note

So tonight, while enjoying my dinner (2 scrambled eggs with potatoes and onions browned in EVOO)- I see this poor little face staring back at me. Meet my doggie, Chopstix  🙂

               <——————YUMMY!

                                                                                             Chopstix —————->

A Tough Realization

Whew! I’ve been mulling over how to complete this step 4 inventory for two days. My hand reluctantly holding the pen, I just can’t manage to make myself write the words. Once they are there, in permanent ink, the words will become so real. Not just the words, but my actions. Right now when those memories start to resurface, I can just push them wayyy back to the back of my mind where I don’t have to “own” up to them. But, once they’re in writing, they become a part of me, a part that I don’t want to be, a part of me that I don’t want you to know. A part of me that I don’t want ME to know. I don’t want to admit how important food has been in my life. I don’t want to own up to the fact that it has consumed me for 30 years. And I shutter to think that I’ve isolated friends and family- those that have always stood by me, for my “fix”. You see, if I’m alone, no one has to know what I’m eating, no one is there to judge me for it. So, being alone for me, was comforting. But you never judged me did you? This was yet another lie I led myself to believe so I could be alone with my addiction.

My Step 4 Inventory…

Well, it seems as if it’s time to begin cleaning up the messes of the past so I can start my life over, afresh. I no longer feel (or want) the need to protect myself with uncomfortable feelings by eating compulsively. This is going to be the hardest part of the change I’m afraid. To admit my problems, and to face the lies surrounding food I’ve led myself, and others, to believe.

Step four requires that I make a “searching and fearless moral inventory of myself”. I have to list the people, institutions and principles toward which I feel resentment, fear or other troublesome feelings. I have to research and analyze my feelings and I’m going to lie- I’m already ashamed and humiliated. I think this will by far be the hardest time- but also the most eye-opening one. I plan to make this inventory this afternoon, and maybe even share some of it in a post later tonight.

Wish me luck…

Do I Really Have to Be Honest??

I feel sick. I feel sick physically. I feel sick emotionally. This is a post I have been dreading to write. I’ve been contemplating for about an hour and a half, trying to talk myself out of it. Trying to convince myself I don’t have to come clean, no one will know. But I promised you honesty, so here it goes.

After work around 5pm I had a couple of errands to run. My husband did as well, so we went opposite directions. One of these errands was to make a quick trip into my local Kroger’s and grab a few pieces of fruit, some veggies and some skim milk. Not a heavy shopping trip, but a few essentials to last me a couple of days. I’d been off work about an hour when I headed towards the grocery store and realized I was starving. You read my post earlier, so you know what I had for lunch. But I had eaten about an hour later than  usual and wasn’t hungry for  my mid-afternoon snack, so I skipped it. By 6pm I was ravenous and decided I’d better grab a quick bite to eat. Lucky for me, my favorite sushi joint is in the same shopping structure, so I decided I’d pop in for a quick bite to eat. Mistake #1. Like a recovering alcoholic, you don’t send them into a liquor store. Alone. My plans were out the window. My intentions were good- I promise this. I ordered a water and decided instead of  sushi I’d have the teriyaki beef, no rice- I’d get mixed veggies instead. Not bad, right? Well, the plate came out, and this thing was monstrous. With my eating habits now, I could have made 3 (maybe even 4) meals out of this. I don’t know if the waitress thought she needed to overcompensate for the lack of rice or what- but it was crazy. Now comes mistake #2. No witnesses, an emotional day (still haven’t figured out what is up with my mood), my favorite food in front of me. Even as I was eating (and this is embarrassing) I KNEW, I knew I needed to stop. I felt full, but it was so good. I did manage to quit, but this was after downing at least 2 of the servings. I really should have known better. I should have known that I can’t be trusted. Not yet. I shouldn’t have went alone, even with the best intentions. I really hope this is a lesson learned and I’d LOVE to be able to say it won’t happen again. I know after feeling really good about myself and my accomplishments,this really knocked me down a few levels. I  hope this feeling would prevent me from doing it again, it definitely showed me how weak I really am.