Tag Archives: fail

A Chihuahua

19 Sep

It's been about a week since my last update. I apologize for the laziness of my posts, I think I get to the point of "oh yeah, I got this" and quit being as diligent with documenting my food, journaling, and so on. And you would think
I'd know by now that I absolutely DO NOT have this!

Anyway, I completed my 6 week weigh-in on Saturday. The results for the week were 2 lbs down for the week and 26 lbs down overall. Not spectacular, but hey, it’s still a loss, right!? Then comes my trip to Gatlinburg for a family wedding.

Oh my.

Day #1 started off with a breakfast wrap (okay). Followed by a BLT (no mayo) and a couple bites of hash browns (eh). Then 7 (7!!!!!) hours passed before my next meal. This meal was catered in BBQ for the wedding reception. Let me just start by reminding you it had been SEVEN hours since I'd eaten. I was famisheddddd. What ensued from here I'm not proud of. Now, lest you think I went COMPLETELY nuts, it wasn't that bad. I mean, I wasn't found hours later passed out in an empty tray once filled with delicious BBQ. BUT, compared to how I have been doing- it wasn't pretty. Sunday wasn't too much better food-wise, but like any addict I thought, its okay just this once. I'll make it up by eating realllyyyy good next week. Mmmhmmm. Let me tell you how that went.

I immediately jumped on the scale when I got home. Ha! That couldn't possibly be right. So, I decided it must be higher from sitting in a car traveling all day (couldn't possibly be from all the food I ate all weekend!)I'll just sleep it off and weigh in tomorrow morning.

This morning arrives… I shower and make sure my hair is completely dry (wet hair probably weighs more than dry I suppose), position myself just so on the scale (it’s a pretty precise procedure you must follow!) and exhale all the air out of my lungs(in my head, air must add a couple of ounces at least!), close my eyes, say a prayer and look down.

Damn.

Surely you’d think 8 hours would have changed something. Nope. 4 lbs. FOUR POUNDS. I continued my weighing ritual at least 5 more times, something just had to be wrong. 

Nope.

Four pounds it is. The approximate weight of a chihuahua. In two days I had undone about 2 weeks worth of work. I guess the good part of all this is that I've realized that I DO have to be diligent, I can't just assume I've done so well I can slack off a little. Again, this blog is about honesty so as I share my successes, I must also share my failures.

At least tomorrow is a new day.

 

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Do I Really Have to Be Honest??

25 Aug

I feel sick. I feel sick physically. I feel sick emotionally. This is a post I have been dreading to write. I’ve been contemplating for about an hour and a half, trying to talk myself out of it. Trying to convince myself I don’t have to come clean, no one will know. But I promised you honesty, so here it goes.

After work around 5pm I had a couple of errands to run. My husband did as well, so we went opposite directions. One of these errands was to make a quick trip into my local Kroger’s and grab a few pieces of fruit, some veggies and some skim milk. Not a heavy shopping trip, but a few essentials to last me a couple of days. I’d been off work about an hour when I headed towards the grocery store and realized I was starving. You read my post earlier, so you know what I had for lunch. But I had eaten about an hour later than  usual and wasn’t hungry for  my mid-afternoon snack, so I skipped it. By 6pm I was ravenous and decided I’d better grab a quick bite to eat. Lucky for me, my favorite sushi joint is in the same shopping structure, so I decided I’d pop in for a quick bite to eat. Mistake #1. Like a recovering alcoholic, you don’t send them into a liquor store. Alone. My plans were out the window. My intentions were good- I promise this. I ordered a water and decided instead of  sushi I’d have the teriyaki beef, no rice- I’d get mixed veggies instead. Not bad, right? Well, the plate came out, and this thing was monstrous. With my eating habits now, I could have made 3 (maybe even 4) meals out of this. I don’t know if the waitress thought she needed to overcompensate for the lack of rice or what- but it was crazy. Now comes mistake #2. No witnesses, an emotional day (still haven’t figured out what is up with my mood), my favorite food in front of me. Even as I was eating (and this is embarrassing) I KNEW, I knew I needed to stop. I felt full, but it was so good. I did manage to quit, but this was after downing at least 2 of the servings. I really should have known better. I should have known that I can’t be trusted. Not yet. I shouldn’t have went alone, even with the best intentions. I really hope this is a lesson learned and I’d LOVE to be able to say it won’t happen again. I know after feeling really good about myself and my accomplishments,this really knocked me down a few levels. I  hope this feeling would prevent me from doing it again, it definitely showed me how weak I really am.